Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
that is very illegal...i love you.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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