your thong is hanging out like whoa
Do vagina's smell?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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