I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
