dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
