I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
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I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
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Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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