Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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