my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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