Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
