is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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