Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
