well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
