The maid of honor just puked.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize