i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
