Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
