last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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