and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
