what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
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I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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