Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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