I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
