hotel room ftw
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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