i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
