Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He passed out mid-signature
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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