I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The beer is more important than you right now.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize