One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Randomize
