don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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