What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
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You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
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You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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