This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize