dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
