I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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