3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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