Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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