I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
This baby is an asshole
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
