proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize