Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
