marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
nut hugger
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I pour the whiskey from now on
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
