So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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