Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
