i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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