dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize