In the future we'll all be gay
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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