he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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