There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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