First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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