I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
