It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
