in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
