i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
