Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
