I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
