Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
