I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
