Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
