Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He felt like a one man threesome
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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