How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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