ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize