In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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