Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
